


The Virginity of Magnus Bane

by AtowncalledMalec



Series: 30 Day Malec Smut Fic Challenge [29]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), malec - Fandom
Genre: #MalecForever, A LOT of Angst, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Magnus Bane, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Human AU, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Malec belong together, Mutual Pining, Not So Unrequited Love, Smut, Top Alec Lightwood, but a happy ending, happy past memories, mentions of bad past experience for Alec, not detailed though, painful past memories, the boy next door, virgin Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 00:41:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15830214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtowncalledMalec/pseuds/AtowncalledMalec
Summary: When Magnus' next-door neighbour, the boy he has been in love with since they were six, the boy who never knew How much Magnus loved him, moved away at 16, Magnus wondered if he would ever see him again. 4 years later, Alec is back. This is Magnus' chance to tell Alec about his feelings, if his courage will let him.Will the memories of their past prove too much for Magnus and Alec? Or will they find their way through them to find a once in a lifetime kind of love?





	The Virginity of Magnus Bane

**Author's Note:**

> This one is for Anon, the prompt was for virgin Magnus, the rest just sort of came out, sorry, I hope you still like it <3<3<3
> 
> The song for this one is, Wide eyed-Billy Lockett, because I wasn't going to do virgin Magnus without that song!!!
> 
> additional tags,
> 
> This one is emotional with talk of bad past memories and a bad first time for Alec (no non-con) Alec feels guilty over it though. There is a happy ending so don't cry too hard <3

Magnus watched through the living room window as his parents and Mr and Mrs Greymark drove off, waving them all off with a relieved sigh, he had waited a long time for this. He dashed upstairs, jumping into the shower as he thought about what this weekend would mean.

He thought about Alec, probably on the bus home from work, and about everything that had led up to tonight as he washed. He remembered the first time he had seen Alec, 6 years old, climbing out of his family’s station wagon and staring up at the house next door. 

That had been the day he realised he liked boys as well as girls when he saw the scared look on the boy's face and wanted to run outside and hug him, even if he didn’t know who the boy was.

He thought about their childhood, running around with lightsabers and having water fights and hanging out at the park after school. He thought about family barbeques and Alec’s treehouse and camping in the backyard.

He thought about their first day of high school, both of them nervous but having each other's backs. And when he and Alec had come out to each other when they were 14. And the time when Alec had knocked out the 10th grader who had picked on him for wearing makeup. 

He thought about the day Alec had climbed through his bedroom window, three days before his 16th birthday and told him that Maryse and Robert were getting a divorce and he had to go and live with his dad in LA. And how scared he had been to tell Alec how he had felt until it was too late and Alec was gone.

4 years they had been apart, 4 long years of not knowing if they would ever see each other again or whether he would have a chance to tell Alec that he had been desperately in love with him since they were 6 years old and he had looked out the window and seen the prettiest face he had ever seen in his entire 6 years of life.

And he thought the day, 3 months ago, when Alec had knocked on his door and told him that he had managed to get a job here in New York and had moved back in with his mom and her husband Luke. 

It had been the happiest day of his life. His best friend and the boy he was still in love with was back. And even after all that time apart, he still hadn’t been able to tell Alec how he felt. But he was going to tell him tonight.

He dried off, hearing the slam of Alec’s front door through his open window and got dressed as quickly as possible. He dashed back into his bathroom and gripped his shaking right hand with his left to apply his eyeliner and dry his hair.

“Please God, please don’t let me make a fool of myself” Magnus begged as he glanced in the mirror, deciding a couple of rings and his ear cuff wouldn’t hurt his look. Before looking at his bedroom window and letting a huff of air escape him.

Magnus climbed out of the window, shaking his head at his stupidity as he looked down before climbing over the swaying branches of the tree between their houses to climb into Alec’s bedroom window. He hadn’t done that climb since he was 16 and was just thanking his lucky stars that the branches held under his 20-year-old ass when Alec came into his bedroom.

“Magnus, did you just climb through my window? Like when we were kids?” Alec asked, staring at Magnus as he jumped down from his window ledge. He shrugged the rest of his jacket off as when he saw Magnus grinning at him.

“I felt like I needed a little adventure in my life, Alexander” Magnus said, grinning when Alec rolled his eyes at the full use of his name, something Alec only allowed him to do. That's probably why he always called him it, because it was their thing.

“Well, I’ve had enough adventure for one day,” Alec said as he threw his jacket over his chair and walked into his bathroom. “I'll be down in a minute, I just have to wash the restaurant off me” he called out to Magnus.

“Sure, I’ll order us some pizza” Magnus called “no anchovies and no Green peppers,” he said at the same time as Alec, rolling his eyes as he went downstairs, yeah, like he needed Alec to tell him his pizza order.

Alec stripped off and jumped in the shower, thinking about Magnus as he washed himself down, scrubbing the grease from his body after the shift from hell at the restaurant he worked at. He had been thinking about Magnus for… well, the last 14 years if he was honest with himself.

He had been specifically thinking about Magnus and this weekend for the last fortnight though. Ever since their parents had announced that they would be going on their annual trip to Florida together early.

He had spent the last two weeks debating whether he should tell Magnus, just get it over and done with and wait for the moment when his life would end, when Magnus would say that they couldn't be friends anymore, that he didn’t feel the same.

It was all he had thought about for the last 3 months, ever since he had come home. Since he had knocked on Magnus’ door and they had fallen into each other's arms and cried. He had wanted to tell him then and there, right there on Magnus’ doorstep, the same thing he had wanted to tell him when they were 16.

The fact that he had been in love with Magnus since the day he first saw him, had haunted him for the last 14 years and yet, when he had had the chance to tell him 4 years ago, the words had stuck in his throat. And when he had the chance to tell him, 3 months ago, his throat had gone just as dry.

“Why is it so hard to just say the words?” he asked himself as he dried off and threw on some sweats and a ratty old hoodie that Magnus had given him for Christmas two years ago, sending it all the way to LA.

He walked down the stairs, finding Magnus flicking through the channels before settling on some reruns of triple D.

“Why do we always have to watch this before we have our pizza?” Alec asked as he fell onto the sofa next to Magnus, gripping Magnus’ legs when they draped over his lap. “We always watch this then stuff ourselves until we can’t walk,” he said, already salivating as he watched Guy chow down on half a pig.

“This is to get our appetites ready for all that pizza, Alexander” Magnus said with a grin. He sank further back into the couch to watch, his eyes occasionally flicking to Alec’s thumb as it was absentmindedly brushed along his shin.

Magnus wished that the way they sat was romantic, that he was draping his legs over his boyfriend's lap, rather than sitting the way they had always sat, as friends.

Alec flicked his thumb over Magnus’ leg again and again, almost convulsively as he tried to work out a way to tell Magnus, going as far as opening and closing his mouth several times. He finally worked up the courage, opening his mouth to say the words when the doorbell rang.

“I'll get it!” Magnus almost yelled, dragging himself up from the couch and vaulting out into the hall. He had just been about to open his mouth and shatter the delusional limbo they had ended up living in when the bell rang, saving him from making a fool of himself.

Alec managed to straighten the hair he had been yanking at, wanting to pull it out, when Magnus came in with two big pie’s. He ate his pizza in silence, the food tasting like ash in his dry throat but forcing every bite down as he stared unseeing at the TV.

And as the last bite went, so did Magnus’ bottle. He shoved his empty pizza box and his empty promises to himself onto the coffee table and sank back into the sofa, glaring at the TV like he had a clue about what they were actually watching.

**

Magnus’ eyes blinked open to pitch darkness. It took him a few moments to gather himself, to realise that he wasn’t in his bed, that he had fallen asleep watching shit TV, and that there was a warm weight laying almost on top of him. Alexander.

What Magnus didn't realise, as he lay in the darkness, was that Alec’s usual snores, soft little snuffles that he had heard 1000 times over the last decade and a half, weren’t there. He lay deathly still, barely daring to breathe in case he woke Alec up and his friend moved away. 

Magnus just wanted these few moments, the few moments when he could pretend that Alec was aware of the man lying beneath him. He reached up, brushing his hand through Alec’s hair as softly as he could, where Alec’s head rested against his chest, where Alec must have fallen asleep against him.

Alec kept his eyes glued shut, locking down the shivers running down his spine when he felt Magnus’ fingers in his hair. He inhaled the scent of Magnus as he tried to keep his breathing shallow, not wanting Magnus to know he was awake.

When Alec had woken and realised he was laying on top of Magnus, he had thought about moving, almost following through with the action. He had been unable to make himself do it though, not when he heard Magnus’ heartbeat under his ear.

So Alec had lain still, savouring the feeling of being pressed against Magnus’ body, even if it did make him a creeper, the guy was asleep after all.

“Alexander, I love you… no… Alexander, I am in love with you… I love you, Alexander… fuck! Why is it so hard?” Magnus muttered to himself, unable to even practice the words that he didn’t dare say to Alec’s face.

Alec’s heart stopped beating when he heard the words Magnus whispered above his head. Magnus loved him? Magnus loved him! Magnus loved him??? He strained to hear if Magnus would say it again, his eyes slamming closed when Magnus did.

“I love you too, Magnus” Alec whispered when he found his courage, feeling Magnus’ fingers freeze in his hair and Magnus’ heart hammer in his chest. He didn’t move a muscle, waiting for Magnus to say something.

“I… I am, in love with you, Magnus,” Alec said when Magnus didn’t say anything, wondering if Magnus had actually said it in the first place.

“Say it again, Alexander” Magnus whispered when he was able to breathe again, his gut clenching at the words that Alec had said.

“The day I moved here and you came out of the house next door and told me not to be scared was the day I fell in love with you,” Alec said, his hoarse voice barely above a whisper.

“That was the day I fell in love with you too,” Magnus said, his fingers tightening in Alec’s hair. How had he not known? After all these years? 

Alec straightened up, moving to sit up when he felt a hand grab his arm and pull him back. He saw the dim outline of Magnus move, rolling onto his side and pull him back down. He gladly went, lying nose to nose with Magnus in the limited space on the couch.

“Why did you never tell me?” Magnus asked, his eyelids fluttering when he felt Alec’s breath on his face.

“I tried to, so many times. I tried to tell you when I was 14. I saw you putting makeup on through your bedroom window and I thought… well, I don’t know what I was thinking, I just wanted to tell you” Alec said, shaking his head at his 14-year-old self.

“You climbed in my window and your face was bright red and you told me that you were gay,” Magnus said, his face heating up at the memory.

“I had intended to tell you that… I l-loved you but I bottled out and came out to you instead, even with that awful clown makeup you were wearing, you were too beautiful and I lost my nerve, again” Alec said.

“Hey, it was my first time putting makeup on, I didn’t look like a clown I just didn’t know what went where yet,” Magnus said, poking Alec in the stomach. “I didn’t look like a clown, I looked beautiful,” he said with a pout, even if he had looked like a clown.

“You were the most beautiful clown I had ever seen in my life and you had a blush on your face that had nothing to do with the makeup” Alec said with a grin, remembering how Magnus had stammered and blushed and tried to hide the makeup things behind his back, even when it was all over his face. 

“My best friend, the boy I was in love with climbed through my window while I was putting makeup on, I was scared you were going to laugh at me,” Magnus said with a shake of his head. “I know now that you wouldn’t but back then, I was terrified,” he said, grabbing Alec’s arm when he tried to protest.

“And I looked ridiculous” Magnus conceded. “I looked like I’d dipped my face in a bag of face paints,” he said, laughing when a small burst of laughter erupted from Alec. He stopped laughing when he felt a tentative brush on his cheek.

“You got better at it though, you learned how to accentuate what you already had,” Alec said as he brushed a shaking finger over Magnus’ cheek, braver in the dark than he had ever been in the light. 

Alec traced the lines of Magnus’ face, knowing where every bit of blush and eyeliner had been placed without needing to see. His breath caught when his finger traced the edge of Magnus’ lip and Magnus didn’t pull away.

“And you never laughed at me, not once. You accepted me when everyone one else laughed and pointed” Magnus whispered against Alec’s finger, his lips pouting forward to kiss it as his heart pounded in his chest.

“I didn’t find it funny, it was who you were. If it made you happy then it made me happy” Alec said, grinning in the dark when Magnus kissed his finger. He went back to tracing the line of Magnus' lips, relishing the softness of the skin under his finger that he had imagined touching so many times.

“You made me happy, you were the only one I ever cared about. Yours was the only opinion that ever really mattered to me” Magnus said as he leaned into Alec’s touch. “you didn’t laugh and told me you were gay” 

“My first real gay panic,” Alec said with a chuckle, a blush forming on his cheeks as he remembered flapping his arms around. “I saw the panic in your eyes and wanted to reassure you. I had come to tell you that I loved you and instead, I just blurted it out” he said with a shake of his head.

“And then you panicked and it made me brave, not brave enough to tell you that I loved you but brave enough to tell you that I was bi,” Magnus said, remembering how the words had been on the tip of his tongue but his lips had said something else.

“I was too scared to say it. Just because you liked boys, it didn’t mean you liked me like that and I was too scared that you wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore so I chickened out, again” Magnus said.

“Me too” Alec murmured. He brushed his finger over his lip, the finger that Magnus had kissed. “Why were we such idiots?” he asked.

“I was never an idiot,” Magnus said with a flourish, grinning when he saw the outline of Alec, brushing his finger over his lip.

“Hey, you were supposed to say that we were never idiots,” Alec said, giving Magnus a small shove. “Shit sorry, are you okay?” he asked, grabbing a handful of Magnus’ jacket when he Magnus almost toppled backwards over the edge of the couch. He pulled Magnus flush against him and wrapped an arm around his waist, anchoring him in place.

“You forget your own strength, Alexander,” Magnus said as his heart continued to pound, faster than it had when he had almost fallen off the couch. He was pressed against every inch of Alec, could feel every part of their bodies touching.

“I wanted to tell you when we were 16. I was going to until my dad said that I was moving to LA. It was too hard, I couldn’t do it, not when I had to tell you I was leaving” Alec said, remembering the gut-wrenching pain when Magnus had sobbed in his arms, he had fought every tear back to be there for Magnus.

“It was the worst day of my life when I got to LA and you weren’t there to tell me not to be scared,” Alec said, feeling a lump form in his throat. He almost jumped when Magnus brushed at his eye, realising that there was a tear there. “I tried to forget, for months I tried but I couldn’t forget about you. It was too much and I…”

“And then you rang me. You were so drunk, in so much pain,” Magnus said, knowing what Alec was trying to say. “You told me about him and you cried and I…” cried too, Magnus thought. He hadn’t understood why Alec had told him, had begged for his forgiveness, at the time but he knew why now.

“I didn't want to love you anymore, it was too hard. I just wanted to forget, I thought it would make me forget but...” Alec said, remembering how lost he had been, how drunk he had had to get to make himself do it, thinking it would stop him from hurting. It had only made it worse.

“I hated myself, I felt like I had cheated on you, like I cheated on what we could have had if I wasn’t such a coward,” Alec said, pulling away as all of his old self-hatred reared up again.

“Don’t, Alexander. Don’t pull away again” Magnus said, pulling Alec back against his body. “It was hard to hear, I won’t lie, but the regret in your voice, the regret that you had given yourself to someone you didn’t love and that you didn’t… that you hated it, that was worse” he whispered, pressing his forehead against Alec’s as he remembered the pain filled sobs at the end of the phone.

“I hated that it wasn’t you, I hated myself because it wasn’t you,” Alec said, tightening his hold on Magnus, almost crushing him against his body. “Please forgive me Magnus” he whispered into Magnus' neck.

“You were just a boy, Alexander. A 16-year-old boy who made a stupid mistake, you didn’t know any better. God, you didn’t even mean it, we weren't even together” Magnus said, feeling a tear gather in his own eye. “I just wished you had talked to me afterwards,” he said, wiping the tear in Alec’s hair.

“I couldn’t face you… I couldn’t… talk to you. I hated that I thought I could forget you, that I wanted to. I… couldn't…” Alec said, remembering the crushing guilt that had had him hanging up the phone every time he had tried to call Magnus.

“I wanted to forget too. I wanted to forget you, for it to be like we had never met, that neither of us had ever gotten hurt.” Magnus admitted as he stroked his fingers through Alec’s hair. “And then you rang me and told me what had happened and I didn’t understand, but I do now”

Magnus thought back, remembering the months that Alec had refused to talk to him. The months, he was just now realising, when Alec had hated himself, punishing himself for what he had done, the actions of a lonely, scared boy.

“I couldn’t. I couldn’t forget you, no matter how hard I tried. You were a part of me, Alexander. You are a part of me, I couldn’t forget you just like I couldn’t forget my hand or my foot or my heart, just like you couldn’t forget me” Magnus said, pressing his hand to Alec’s heart, feeling it beat just as hard as his, against his hand.

Alec clutched the back of Magnus’ jacket tighter, bunching the material in his hands as he let the words sink into his brain. He pulled Magnus tighter to him, not realising that it was impossible as the fracture in his heart slowly closed over.

“I don’t think I ever could, I gave up trying a long time ago,” Magnus said, whispering the words against Alec’s lips. He let his lips push forward, brushing Alec’s soft plump lips. He had never wanted anything more in his life or been so scared, scared that Alec would pull away again.

“Me too,” Alec murmured as he pressed his lips forward, feeling like he didn’t deserve Magnus’ kiss but being too weak to refuse, not when it was all he had dreamed of for so long. It was everything, everything he had imagined, the soft brush turning more insistent, more desperate.

Magnus’ hand swept up into Alec’s hair as he pulled his face closer, wanting to breathe Alec’s air, to share his own. He had waited for too many years to feel Alec’s lips against his own to squander his chance so he pulled Alec closer, his tongue darting out on some instinct that he didn’t know he possessed.

Alec opened up when he felt Magnus’ tongue try to push into his mouth, gladly accepting it before his brain yelled at him, told him that he wasn’t allowed this. So he pulled back, hating the noise that Magnus made. “Magnus… I don’t… I don’t deserve this…I am so sorry”

“Don’t Alexander, don’t punish yourself for something you did when you were hurting. Don’t tell me what you do and don’t deserve. No more sorry's, it was all in the past” Magnus said, breathing hard as his heart raced, equal parts of desire and fear. “I want yo… I need you. I love you” he said.

Alec let his head drop against Magnus’ wondering what he had done to deserve this man, the man who still wanted him after what he had done. He let his head rise when Magnus’ fingers curled under his chin before Magnus’ lips were back on his.

Alec gave in, gave into everything that had built up inside him as he pulled Magnus closer. He licked at Magnus’ lip, his breath coming faster when Magnus’ leg hitched over his hip. He couldn’t stop his hand from skimming down over Magnus’ hip, pulling his leg a little higher.

Magnus didn’t know where the move had come from when he wrapped his leg over Alec’s hip, all he knew was that he wasn’t close enough to Alec. He pushed his leg higher, wrapping it around the back of Alec’s body as he opened up.

Magnus waited for the embarrassment to come, from the breathless gasps of air that blew through his nose, from the way his body jerked against Alec’s but it didn’t, he couldn’t feel one ounce of embarrassment. 

Alec took the hint when Magnus’ movements became more frantic against him, clutching Magnus’ leg to him and rolling until he was on his back, Magnus straddling him. He let his breath escape with a small giggle when Magnus laughed before claiming his lips again.

Magnus clutched Alec’s face, bending to kiss him again. He pushed his fingers into Alec’s hair, grinning against his lips when Alec’s head came up to meet him. He nodded against Alec’s lips when he felt a tentative brush at his thighs.

Alec ran his hands up Magnus’ thighs when he got permission, feeling him out, letting his thumbs brush along the tight Denim that encased Magnus’ legs. He wondered if he was going too far when his hands came to rest on Magnus’ ass until Magnus pushed down into them.

Alec squeezed gently, not really knowing how hard was too hard but listening to Magnus’ soft moans as a guide. He knew he had gotten it right when Magnus broke the kiss and pressed his forehead to his, his hips rocking in his hands.

“Alexander… it… I… feels so, good” Magnus whispered breathlessly, his eyes screwing shut at the sensations running through him. He could feel how hard Alec was, beneath his ass. He could feel the shake of Alec’s body, vibrating through his thighs, hoping the same need he felt was running through Alec.

“It’s more than I imagined… every time I thought about this, about what it would be like… I couldn’t have dreamed it” Alec said, his fingers clutching Magnus’ jacket, bunching it at his hips as he fought himself for control.

Magnus gave up on control, he gave into his body, nosing Alec’s head up to claim his lips again. He grinned when he felt Alec’s hands brush up his sides, pushing under the material of his silk jacket and push the material back off his shoulders, nodding when he felt Alec hesitate.

Magnus helped Alec take his jacket off, almost groaning as his arms caught in his sleeves, trying to get the damn thing off too fast. He felt the warm air hit his arms when he finally got them free.

Alec pulled Magnus’ jacket away, dropping it to the floor as Magnus came up for air. He sat up when he felt Magnus tug at his hoodie, both of them pulling it until he got it up over his arms, trapping them as he tried to push and Magnus tried to pull before he managed to rip it over his head.

“There you are” Magnus giggled when he saw Alec’s outline in the darkened room. He grinned, wrapping his arms around Alec’s neck when he didn’t lie back down, pulling him against his chest as he sank into another toe-curling kiss.

Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus’ waist, pulling him tighter. He couldn’t help but grin when Magnus’ hips moved against his dick, tiny, almost infinitesimal movements that he would probably feel if he were dead.

“Magnus, is this… are you sure you… do you want to go all…?” Alec found he didn’t quite know how to finish the question. He was sure that that’s where this was leading but he didn’t want to assume.

Magnus pulled back, smiling when he climbed off Alec’s hips and stood up. He held his hand out, pulling Alec up off the couch, he wasn’t having his first time on a couch, he wanted it to be in a bed. Alec’s bed, like he had always dreamed of.

Alec had thought for a heart-stopping minute that Magnus wanted to stop, that he had guessed wrong until Magnus pulled him against his body. He wrapped his arms around Magnus’ waist, resting his head against Magnus’ before he kissed him again.

Alec let a small moan escape him when he felt Magnus’ fingers pull at the hem of his t-shirt as he pulled him towards the hall. He released his hold on Magnus to let him pull his t-shirt off before moving back into Magnus’ personal space when it was dropped to the floor.

Magnus let his hands run over Alec’s back when it was bared to him, letting his fingers feel out the smoothe skin in the dark hallway. He would have tripped on the stairs if Alec hadn't caught him, the tightening of his strong hands stopping him from crashing down.

“Are you o…?” Alec cut off when Magnus slammed his lips against his. His hands bunched in Magnus’ t-shirt, his fingers brushing the small of Magnus’ back as he pushed it up. He pulled back from the kiss, breathing hard as he pulled Magnus’ t-shirt off dropping it on the stairs.

Alec laughed when Magnus went for his belt, pulling it through the loops of his skinny jeans and dropping it before pulling him up a couple more stairs. He scooped Magnus up when he almost tripped backwards on the stairs again, making it to the top before he let Magnus down.

“I seem to be tripping over myself, Alexander,” Magnus said, half seeing Alec’s face in the moonlight that shone through the window in the upstairs hallway. He laughed when he saw the glint of Alec’s teeth. He pulled his skinny jeans down, almost tripping in his haste to get them off.

Alec pulled Magnus against him, to steady him as Magnus wrestled the tight material off his legs. He picked Magnus up again, grinning when Magnus’ legs wrapped around his waist as he made it to his bedroom door. 

Magnus fumbled the door behind him, even as he dove into Alec’s mouth again, pushing in as he got the door open. He slid down Alec’s body when they got into his room, pulling the jeans that were dangling off the end of his leg all the way off as Alec pulled his sweats off.

Alec stood, breathing hard when he was left in just his boxers. He flicked his lamp on, his eyes zeroing in on Magnus now that there was enough light to see him by. His breath caught, just as it always did when he saw Magnus in his boxers, a sight that he had seen hundreds of times over the years, swimming, gym class, shopping. 

Alec had never seen him in this context though, always turning his head away whenever he saw him like that, in case his body betrayed him. He looked now though, at the muscle mass Magnus had gained over the last 4 years. He watched Magnus watching him. 

Magnus stared just as hard, not needing the lamplight to know what Alec looked like but appreciating it anyway. He could draw Alec in his sleep. Well, maybe he had a few more muscles, he conceded when he saw how much Alec had filled out since he has last seen him like this. 

“So do we… just…?” Magnus asked, playing at the waistband of his boxers, unsure of whether he was just supposed to pull them off or…?

“I don’t know, I was too drunk… I don’t know the rules?” Alec said, thanking God he had managed to block most of it out. “On three?” he asked nervously, not knowing what else to say.

Magnus pulled his boxers down when Alec got to two, knowing he would bottle it if he let him get to three. He laughed when Alec did the same thing before slapping a hand to his mouth, shit!

“Alexander… I wasn’t… I didn’t… I wasn’t laughing at you” shit, Magnus thought, crossing the distance in a heartbeat. “It was just a nervous thing, I wasn’t laughing at you,” he said as he moulded himself to Alec.

“I know, I just… I’m nervous too” Alec said, wrapping his arms around Magnus. He had had a wild moment when he thought… but Magnus would never do that. He pressed himself closer to Magnus, pressing his lips into Magnus’ mohawk when Magnus squeezed his middle.

Magnus looked up, seeing the flash of hurt gone from Alec’s eyes. He pressed his lips to Alec’s cheek before tugging him over to the bed, sliding under the duvet and pulling Alec with him. He lay on his side, facing Alec as he stared into his eyes.

Magnus reached up, brushing the stray lock away that had fallen over Alec’s forehead. He leaned forward, pressing his lips to Alec’s, grinning into the kiss when Alec pulled him closer, flush against his body.

“You were too far away,” Alec said, grinning as his thumb flicked over Magnus’ warm hip. He let his hand wander as he kissed Magnus again, wanting to feel all of Magnus’ ribs and the new muscles he had gained, only making him more beautiful.

Magnus felt every brush against his skin, his breath catching in his chest when Alec’s fingers brushed back down his ribs and over his hip, softly brushing over his thigh. It made him giggle when Alec skimmed over the sensitive spots. 

Alec curled his hand under Magnus’ thigh when it came up over his hip again, pulling his leg higher. He lolled them, so that Magnus lay on his back, leaning over Magnus as his fingers skimmed down the inside of Magnus’ thigh.

Alec stared down into Magnus’ eyes, letting his hand drop the last few inches when Magnus dodded up at him, brushing down over Magnus’ dick. He cupped Magnus, listening to his soft moan before claiming his lips, unable to help himself.

Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s neck, moaning into his mouth when Alec finally wrapped his hand around his length, barely able to breath when he felt the calluses on Alec’s hand.

“A little bit tighter” Magnus whispered before he buried his face in Alec's neck, wanting to hide his face. His hips jerked when Alec’s had started to move in earnest, instinctively pushing into Alec’s hand as he breathed hard into Alec’s shoulder.

“Magnus, look at me,” Alec said, kissing Magnus’ shoulder as he continued to jerk him. “Please, I want to see your eyes?” he asked, smiling when Magnus peeked up at him. 

“My favourite eyes in the whole world,” Alec said, pressing a kiss into each of Magnus’ eyelids. He moved his hand faster, staring into Magnus’ eyes and watching him fight his body's reactions. 

Magnus grasped Alec’s neck tighter, his breath exploding out of him in small bursts as he stared into Alec’s beautiful hazel eyes. He reached down, stopping Alec’s movements as he wrapped a hand around Alec’s wrist.

“Alexander, I want to… I want you to… cum as well, together when you’re inside of me” Magnus said, feeling his cheeks heat up. As much as he was enjoying what Alec was doing, and he was enjoying it a lot, he wanted to feel Alec inside him more.

“Are you sure?” Alec asked as he stilled his movements. He let go when Magnus nodded at him. He rolled onto his back, pulling his nightstand drawer open and pulled a bottle of lube out, reaching in again before he realised he had no condoms. He didn’t need condoms to jerk off.

“Magnus, I don’t have any condoms,” Alec said when he turned back. 

“I don’t have any either,” Magnus said, his eyes darting out the window, to his own bedroom. He looked up at Alec, disappointment welling in his own stomach as he saw Alec trying to hide his. 

“Do we need them? I mean, I know we haven’t talked… there… there will never be anyone else for me, Alexander, it’s always been you. Are you supposed to use them with your boy...?” Magnus trailed off, staring at Alec.

“Are you asking me to be your boyfriend, Magnus?” Alec asked, smiling when Magnus nodded. “Good, because there will never be anyone else for me either. You are the only one I want, have ever wanted.” 

“Are you… did you…the other time, did you use…?” Magnus stammered, not wanting to bring it up but needing to know. He hated the sad look in Alec’s eyes, brushing his hand along Alec’s cheek.

“Yes, I did and my dad made me get a test anyway when he found out,” Alec said, remembering his dad’s anger. He was glad his dad had dragged him to the clinic though. “I am clean” 

“So just the lube then?” Magnus asked, waggling his eyebrows to lift Alec out of the funk he was slipping into. He grinned when Alec laughed.

“Just the lube,” Alec said, shaking his head at his boyfriend. His boyfriend! “How did I land the silliest boyfriend ever?” he asked, testing the word out. He grinned when Magnus stopped laughing and stared at him.

“Boyfriend. That's hot!” Magnus said with a grin, pulling Alec down on top of him. It was more than hot, it was… amazing, perfect, everything he had dreamed of. He opened up when Alec kissed him, pulling him closer by his hair.

Alec let his hand wander again, grinning when Magnus’ legs tightened around his waist before falling open. He brushed his hand over Magnus’ dick, pleased to feel that he was still as hard as him.

“Alexander, are you going to… lube me up?” Magnus asked when he felt Alec’s fingers graze his balls. His breath came a little faster when Alec’s hand went lower, brushing over his ass.

Alec continued playing at Magnus’ ass for a moment, reminding himself to get a good look at it the first opportunity he got before he grabbed the bottle. He reluctantly released Magnus’ lips to kneel between Magnus’ legs, letting the duvet pool around his waist.

If he was honest with himself, Alec didn’t really know what he was doing. All he knew was that he was supposed to stretch Magnus out, so it wouldn’t hurt so much. He went with what he had seen in porn videos, rather than try and remember his own experience.

Magnus’ toes curled when Alec pushed a finger into him, gently, it still stole his breath though. He took deep breaths and grabbed Alec’s hand when it was too much. He would be eternally grateful at how slowly Alec took it, he thought as Alec stretched him out.

“Magnus, is this okay? Is it too much?” Alec asked. He could feel Magnus becoming looser around his two fingers, wondering if he should push another one in. 

“I can take more, Alexander,” Magnus said, feeling a third finger against his hole. He nodded when Alec slowly added a third, breathing through it. He wriggled on the fingers inside him, trying to find a more comfortable position when something shot through him.

“Fuck! What… oh…. God fuck!” Magnus yelped when the instinctual jerk of his body made it happen again, the pleasure shooting through him every time he jerked.

“Magnus, are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Alec asked, almost yelling as he pulled his fingers out of Magnus, clamping his hands behind his back. He watched Magnus still, breathing hard. He was breathing hard himself.

“It was… it was… Amazing. Do it again” Magnus gasped, wanting to feel it again. He shuffled closer when Alec stared at him.

“I don’t know what I did,” Alec said honestly, scratching the back of his neck when he saw the desperate look on Magnus’ face.

“Can we… can you…?” Magnus didn’t know how to ask, what was he supposed to say? Fuck? Make love? He tugged Alec down and rolled them until he was straddling Alec’s thighs. “Is this okay?” he asked, grinning when Alec nodded.

Alec poured some more lube onto his hand, wrapping it around his dick and giving it a few tugs. It was probably more than he needed but he wanted Magnus to be as comfortable as possible. He saw Magnus watching as he sat on his thighs, grinning at the glint in Magnus’ eye.

“Enjoying yourself?” Alec asked with a chuckle, laughing when Magnus knocked his hand out of the way.

“Are you?” Magnus fired back as he took Alec dick in his hand, gulping at the length of it but giving it a few tugs anyway. “So do I just… sit on it?” he asked, feeling like an idiot. He shuffled forward when Alec just nodded.

Alec thought it was probably a good idea for Magnus to go on top, so he could direct the pace. He watched Magnus climb over him, seeing the look on his face. He reached up and smoothed Magnus’ eyebrows out, letting his thumb brush his beautiful jaw and goatee.

Magnus pushed down on Alec’s dick after a few misses and some wriggling, finally getting it right. He leaned into Alec’s touch as he took deep breaths. He had to stop a couple of times, smiling his thanks when Alec gave his dick a few jerks before he sank all the way down.

Magnus just sat there, stunned at how full he felt, how stretched he felt around Alec before it finally registered, there was some pain, some pleasure and a lot of pressure.

Alec cupped Magnus' jaw when he saw the look on his face, saw his chest rising and falling fast as he gasped for air. He wrapped his free hand around Magnus' dick, jerking him off with quick movements. 

“Magnus, are you okay?” Alec asked. He had to centre himself with the movements of his hands to speak at the insane pleasure of being inside Magnus. He hated that look on Magnus’ face when he was enjoying it.

“Yes, it’s just a lot to get used to!” Magnus said, letting out the breath he had been holding. He rose up on his knees slightly, to see what movement was like. Painful but manageable. He started moving, trying to grab at thin air when he lost his balance.

Alec grabbed Magnus’ hands to steady him, interlocking their fingers to give Magnus some balance. He grazed Magnus hands with his thumbs, finding it easier not to push up with the movement.

Magnus used Alec’s hands for balance, leaning forward slightly to rise on his knees, to get a feel for the movements. He moved with shallow thrusts, unsure if he was ready for anything fancier,

Alec watched Magnus, unable to take his eyes off him. He gripped Magnus’ hands tighter, watching the pained grimace leave his beautiful features with each rise and fall of his hips. He let go of one of Magnus’ hands when he had his balance, keeping the other tight in his grip, unwilling to let go.

Alec trailed his hand up Magnus’ thigh, watching his reactions, his heavy breathing, the match of his own. He brushed Magnus’ hip, trailing his hand up Magnus’ ribs and flicked his thumb over his nipple.

Magnus rose higher when Alec’s thumb brushed his nipple, breathing harder from the pleasure that radiated out from it. “Do it again” he breathed, a small moan escaping him when Alec did.

Magnus leaned into Alec’s touch, wanting to feel Alec against his skin, needing it to ground himself from the sensations running through him. He could feel himself loosening, the initial pain starting to fade as he got used to the movements. He tugged at Alec’s hand, pulling him up.

Alec went willingly, sitting up and wrapping his arms around Magnus’ waist. He pressed his lips to Magnus’ collarbone when he saw him wince slightly, sucking at the skin there. He grinned into Magnus' chest when Magnus’ arms came around his neck.

Alec continued his earlier exploration, wanting to feel all of Magnus, his hand skimming over every rib as he trailed kisses over Magnus’ collarbone and neck. He listened to the small moans escape Magnus as he brushed his thumb over his nipple again.

Magnus clutched Alec’s head to his chest when his mouth replaced his thumb, burying his face in Alec’s hair as the pleasure of Alec sucking his nipple had his hips moving faster. He didn't know what was better Alec’s mouth, rolling the hard nub between his teeth or the feeling of Alec’s hand, brushing at the skin at the bottom of his spine.

Alec sucked harder, moaning into Magnus’ chest at the pleasure of the tight squeeze around his dick. He released Magnus’ nipple, brushing it with his thumb as his lips found the other, paying it the same attention as the first.

Magnus couldn’t help the arch of his back when Alec started to trail kisses down the middle of his chest. He never realised it would be like this, that there would be so many different sensations, everywhere, all at once.

The fingers playing up Magnus’ spine had shivers running across his skin, making him arch further. He let out a deep moan when he felt that jolt again, an explosion of pleasure deep inside that sent any thoughts of pain flying out the window.

“Fuck… it’s there again, Alexander” Magnus moaned, unable to help the sound. He felt that jolt every time he pushed down. It had him releasing his hold on Alec’s neck, reaching back to grab onto his knees instead, using them for leverage to get the perfect angle.

Alec leaned back on his own hands, raising his knees up so Magnus could lean against them. He couldn’t stop his hips from thrusting up to meet Magnus’ downwards thrusts, doing it again when he heard the pleasure in Magnus’ moans, rather than pain.

“It… feels so… good, Alexander” Magnus said, his voice wavering from the constant pleasure shooting through him. It had his hips taking over, giving control of his body to the pleasure, letting his instincts take over the tight control he’d had over himself.

“I know, for me too” Alec gasped, his eyes screwing closed at the long strokes of Magnus’ hips, unable to keep them open as Magnus squeezed down on every inch. “Fuck… it’s even better when you squeeze like that” he murmured.

Alec forced his eyes open when Magnus let out a constant stream of whimpering moans, they sounded so pretty, he wanted to see. He reached down, taking Magnus in hand and pumping his dick in time to Magnus’ thrusts.

“Fuck, it’s too much, Alexander… I think I’m gonna cum” Magnus breathed, barely able to manage more than a whisper when it all got too much. It was everywhere, shivers down his spine, Alec jerking him, that scraping pleasure deep inside him, surging into his balls until they started to draw up.

Alec leaned forward and sucked Magnus’ nipple back into his mouth as he continued to jerk Magnus in the limited space between them, remembering how much he seemed to like it. He was rewarded when Magnus wrapped his arms around his neck again with a loud moan.

Magnus held onto Alec tight as he exploded between them, burying his face in the crook of his elbow as he cried his release out. He jerked in Alec’s hold, his entire body jolting from the pleasure.

“Magnus, I’m not going to last much longer” Alec grated out when Magnus started rocking on his dick with tiny movements, gasping and whimpering into his ear. It set his own release off, the sounds and squeeze too perfect for him to hold on any longer.

Alec let go of Magnus’ dick, clamping onto his waist as his hips jerked up a few more times before his balls drew up. He collapsed back onto the mattress, taking Magnus with him as he shot deep inside Magnus’ body, his hips coming off the bed to press deeper into Magnus’ ass.

Magnus lay panting on Alec’s chest, almost dizzy from the lack of oxygen his heavy breathing had caused. He let his eyes close when Alec’s grip around him tightened and he felt Alec’s lips on his forehead.

“I love you, Alexander” Magnus whispered, grinning when Alec’s lips moved down his forehead and down the ridge of his nose, pressing soft kisses there until he reached his lips.

“I love you too, Magnus,” Alec said, grinning against Magnus’ lips as he said it, unable to keep the smile from his face. After all these years, he could say it. Say the words to Magnus. “Was that okay for you?” he asked, praying that Magnus had enjoyed it.

“It was perfect, so much better than I thought it would be,” Magnus said as he lifted his hips, groaning when Alec’s dick fell from his ass, he didn’t like that bit, that was certain. He sat up, accepting the tissues Alec handed him and cleaned them both up with a blush before chucking the tissues on the floor. 

Magnus collapsed onto the mattress, pulling Alec onto his side to snuggle into his chest, grinning when Alec's arms came around him. He pressed his face into Alec’s chest, not minding the tickle of chest hair against his face, not when he lay flush to Alec’s body. 

Magnus entwined their legs as Alec tugged the duvet up, settling into Alec’s tight embrace. It was more than he had ever hoped for, finally having his Alexander after all these years, he was finally his.


End file.
